When I was eleven or twelve, I was caught sending ‘nudes’ to a boy in the year above me at my school. It wasn’t a full nude, just me in my bikini top, however that did not matter. At the time I was being asked for pictures from 3 or 4 boys, all a year older than me and all only speaking to me online; KIK and snapchat were preferred at my school then. The boy’s mum saw this photo of me on her son’s phone and I remember sitting on the grass at pick up time and knowing parents were talking about me, looking at me. I didn’t know yet; my mum was about to talk to me about the situation and the following day the girls and boys of year 7 and 8 would have separate meetings about sending and asking for nudes. I was in tears, screaming in the car when my mum spoke to me. I highly doubt the boy felt the same way or that the situation would ever cross his mind today, except maybe as a joke to a friend in a drinking game.
Who was at fault here? At the time I would never have said that I was not in control of the situation, I very much made the decision to send the pictures. However, now would I say I was manipulated by these boys, a year older and just using me for late-night wank under the covers?
A survey done by the University of Nebraska shows that after being asked ‘why they send nudes,’ over a third of women say it is an ‘obligation and inherent part of a relationship.’ The study also showed women send sexy pictures to feel more powerful and dominant in a relationship. Once in our 20s, the subject of sending nudes has, in my experience, changed from the former to the latter. Every woman should feel empowered in her own way and if sending nudes does this for you then that is the best thing ever. If young boys are going to continue to ask for nudes and underage girls continue to send them, we should not be telling them how wrong it is and condemning them for doing so. This reaffirms to young girls that they need male validation. The desire to impress the male recipients is a prominent reason that young girls in particular, send nudes. Our parents and the generations above us do not have the experience that we have, they do not understand it as we do. Therefore, it is our job to direct young girls in a direction which will reduce the risks of mental health and felony charges which this area of social life can associate with.